“Self-esteem is believing in one’s own worth, one’s right to happiness, friendship and love.” This quote represents well the many facets of the concept of self-esteem. It accompanies us all our life, it evolves and it can even affect the way we behave with others and influence the actions we dare to undertake. A low self-esteem can indeed represent a real obstacle to the development of a person.
It is important to note that self-esteem can be developed through healthy strategies. Our team of social workers has prepared this article to help you learn more about this important issue.
Where does self-esteem come from?
Self-esteem is how we see ourselves, how we feel about ourselves. It is the way we appreciate our own value and judge our importance. The look of the others and the way we position ourselves in relation to them in our immediate environment are fundamental mechanisms of self-esteem. This concept is important when it comes to recognizing our own value and strengths.
Personal experiences have a direct impact on self-esteem and its development, especially those that occur early in life. In this sense, the role of the parent is important in the first years of a child’s life for the development of his or her self-esteem. Affection, recognition of successes and encouragement help children to see themselves in a positive light and develop healthy self-esteem. In contrast, criticism, abuse (physical or psychological), neglect, rejection and bullying are all factors that negatively influence self-esteem.
A multifaceted and evolving concept
Self-esteem is influenced by several factors that emerge in early childhood. These include physical appearance, academic achievement, performance in sports and recreation, popularity and the need to conform. From childhood, a child perceives information about himself, compares himself with others, etc. Also, certain contexts can affect this image, for example a child who is raised in a family where academic success is highly valued. He or she will be more likely to place a high value on this aspect when it comes to self-worth.
Throughout life, self-esteem changes. During adolescence, the need to belong becomes very strong. Rejection and bullying can greatly affect self-esteem at this stage. Today, social media can have a devastating impact on young people. Indeed, they encourage comparison with others, but this comparison is based on “polished” images of reality, which reflects an ideal that is difficult to achieve.
In adulthood, an individual has already built his or her self-esteem based on experiences in childhood and adolescence. However, events can still affect it, such as failures, toxic relationships, intimate relationships that come with verbal, physical or psychological violence, etc.
The effects of a good VS a bad self-esteem
We have seen that self-esteem is built at each stage of life, but also that it evolves. We must also be aware of its impact on our lives.
A good self-esteem pushes us to realize ourselves, to surpass ourselves in order to reach our goals and our dreams. A good self-esteem allows :
- Maintain healthy personal relationships;
- To assert oneself in relation to others, to be respected and to impose limits;
- To persevere in order to reach the goals we set for ourselves and to overcome the challenges;
- To understand one’s own strengths and weaknesses;
- To accept compliments;
- To take credit for one’s successes and recognize one’s own qualities;
- To react adequately to mistakes, criticism, failures, since we know that we cannot succeed in everything or be talented in everything…
On the other hand, a bad personal esteem can be linked to :
- An excessive preoccupation with its image and its appearance;
- A hyper-vigilance in front of the glance of the others and the need for conformity;
- The development of behavior or attitude to hide a low esteem;
- Excessive fears of failure;
- Difficulty in accepting criticism, but also compliments and congratulations;
- Difficulty in recognizing one’s strengths and merits;
- Difficulty in building relationships because of a lack of self-esteem;
- Etc.
How to develop self-esteem?
Developing self-esteem can be a challenge for some people, regardless of their age. For parents, healthy attitudes need to be in place with children to help them : attention and affection, setting clear rules, praise for good behavior, acceptance of strengths and limitations, support for failure, etc. This helps create a stable and secure environment for the child to develop healthy self-esteem.
Even if later in life, a person’s self-esteem is insufficient, we can intervene and put in place strategies to develop it. This is where a social worker can help. Indeed, this professional can help a person to develop healthier mechanisms and to recognize those that are less healthy, in order to help him/her cultivate positive thoughts about him/herself. The professional can also help the client set realistic goals and expectations, develop healthy relationships, etc. The social worker also has extensive knowledge of resources for many social issues, such as low self-esteem. If necessary, they can refer their clients to these resources.
Online social work consultation
The Clinique GO™ team offers online social work consultation. Thanks to this service, offered throughout Quebec, it is possible to meet with a social worker without having to travel, at a time that is most convenient for you, thanks to a videoconference service.
For any problem related to self-esteem, whether it is for yourself or to support your child or a loved one, do not hesitate to call on our social workers through the online social work consultation.
Approuvé par Francis Desjardins
